Beyond reasonable doubt – A step too far?

Beyond Reasonable doubt - a step too far?In employment matters how much evidence do you need to make a decision?

There is a lot of misunderstanding within business about the burden of proof necessary to take action such as dismissal.

We are all used to crime drama where the test is “beyond reasonable doubt”…. However, employment law is a form of civil law and the burden of proof required is the rather less dramatically phrased, “on the balance of probabilities”.  This can be described as, “what is more likely to have happened than not”.

In employment matters you need:

  • a reasonable belief that the act of misconduct occurred based on a reasonable investigation of the facts
  • to follow a fair and reasonable process,  and
  • To respond within a range of reasonable responses.

Lots of “reasonableness”, which is probably why it gets confused with the criminal standard of proof, but what does it mean in practice?

Reasonable belief – a Case in Point

A female employee (Emma) alleged that her manager (Tom) had bullied her over an extended period of time.  Grievance & disciplinary procedures kicked in.  Tom was dismissed and took a claim to the Employment Tribunal.

The Investigation

In this case we looked at the behaviour of both parties over time using witness statements about the specific incidents detailed in the grievance.  A view was then taken, based on the evidence, about whether the dismissing manager had a reasonable belief that misconduct had occurred.

The evidence included material confirming the following:

  • Tom had on several occasions made jokes, at the expense of Emma, in front of others
  • Tom had excluded Emma from conversations
  • Tom had made several comments that Emma and others had believed were of a threatening nature towards Emma
  • Tom had used his position as a special police constable to make threats towards Emma
  • Emma had raised an informal complaint about Tom’s behaviour, but the behaviour had continued.

The dismissing manager concluded, on the balance of evidence available, that Tom did bully Emma over a lengthy period.

Was this a Reasonable Belief?

If this belief was based on a reasonable investigation, which gathered evidence from a range of sources that were believed to be reliable and was appropriately documented, then it can be a reasonable belief.  In Emma’s case the investigation revealed plenty of evidence which supported her claim to have been bullied.

Was this a Fair and Reasonable Process?

The company disciplinary process was followed, based on ACAS guidelines, an investigation was completed, relevant notice was given for the hearing, Tom was offered representation, Tom was given an opportunity to challenge the evidence and the dismissing manager was not previously involved in the situation. On this basis it was held to be a fair and reasonable process.

Was the Response Reasonable?

The outcome of this grievance was a disciplinary process that resulted in Tom being dismissed for gross misconduct.

It was found that the misconduct alleged had, on the balance of probabilities, occurred, and this misconduct was clearly identified as gross misconduct in the disciplinary process for which one option open to the company was dismissal.

Alternative responses were considered and were rejected, for example demotion, move to another site, remedial training, meditation.  The consideration of these alternatives to dismissal was documented.

At appeal the original decision was upheld.

At Tribunal

Tom took a claim to the Employment Tribunal on the basis that he had been unfairly dismissed.  He argued that there was insufficient evidence on which to base a decision to dismiss him. .

The company were able to demonstrate to the ET that they had conducted a reasonable investigation, which had informed a fair & reasonable grievance & disciplinary process.  The breadth of the evidence relied on, the procedural propriety and the fact consideration of alternative outcomes had been documented all served the company well.  The ET was able to find, using the civil standard of proof, that the company were not at fault and the claim failed.

Conclusion

Grievance & disciplinary procedures may sometimes seem onerous, but if the situation is handled professionally from the outset, they are not difficult.  If managers are well informed, able to exercise professional discretion and comfortable with the processes involved then the chances of being able to demonstrate a “reasonable” approach are greatly enhanced.  Having the confidence to be “reasonable” could save you a lot of money, time and heart-ache.

If you would like some help to manage employment issues in a way that sets you up to have the best chance of winning if matters come to tribunal, contact us on:

 01926 633086

Or

 info@athenaprofessional.co.uk

A competency framework to demonstrate continuing competence

In November 2016 the CPD hour ceased. The SRA have now moved to a continuing competence based approach to personal development. Solicitors are required by the SRA to make a declaration of competence to practise each year by demonstrating continuing competence, rather than completing 16 hours cpd.

But what do the SRA mean by competent?

SRA Continuing Competence

The SRA define competence as:

the ability to perform the roles and tasks required by one’s job to the expected standard (Eraut & du Boulay 2001).

In layman’s terms – the skills knowledge & behaviours to do your job well.

How do you measure continuing competence?

Using a competency framework, which defines observable behaviours, can be enormously helpful.  At Athena Professional we have  developed a continuing competence framework for the legal sector.  Our competency framework maps back to the SRA competencies, thus ensuring you are in a position to make your declaration of competence to practise.

If you would like to download our continuing competence framework please click here.

Competency Framework for the Legal Sector 2017.

And if as a result of reviewing this framework you would like to talk to us about how to demonstrate continuing competence please contact us.

The Abilene Paradox

Featured

From Organizational Dynamics, Summer 1988, pp. 17–43. © 1988 by the American Management Association, New York. All rights reserved.  The Abilene Paradox:The Management of Agreement – Jerry B. Harvey

The July afternoon in Coleman, Texas (population 5,607) was particularly hot— 104 degrees as measured by the Walgreen’s Rexall Ex-Lax temperature gauge. In addition, the wind was blowing fine-gained West Texas topsoil through the house. But the afternoon was still tolerable—even potentially enjoyable.
There was a fan going on the back porch; there was cold lemonade; and finally, there was entertainment. Dominoes. Perfect for the conditions. The game required little more physical exertion than an occasional mumbled comment, “Shuffle ‘em,” and an unhurried movement of the arm to place the spots in the appropriate perspective on the table. All in all, it had the makings of an agreeable Sunday afternoon in Coleman—this is, it was until my father-in-law suddenly said, “Let’s get in the
car and go to Abilene and have dinner at the cafeteria.”

I thought, “What, go to Abilene? Fifty-three miles? In this dust storm and heat? And in an
unairconditioned 1958 Buick?”

But my wife chimed in with, “Sounds like a great idea. I’d like to go. How about you,
Jerry?” Since my own preferences were obviously out of step with the rest I replied,
“Sounds good to me,” and added, “I just hope your mother wants to go.”

“Of course I want to go,” said my mother-inlaw. “I haven’t been to Abilene in a long time.”
So into the car and off to Abilene we went.
My predictions were fulfilled. The heat was brutal. We were coated with a fine layer of
dust that was cemented with perspiration by the time we arrived. The food at the cafeteria
provided first-rate testimonial material for antacid commercials.
Some four hours and 106 miles later we returned to Coleman, hot and exhausted. We sat
in front of the fan for a long time in silence.

Then, both to be sociable and to break the silence, I said, “It was a great trip, wasn’t it?”

No one spoke.

Finally my mother-in-law said, with some irritation, “Well, to tell the truth, I really didn’t enjoy it much and would rather have stayed here. I just went along because
the three of you were so enthusiastic about going. I wouldn’t have gone if you all
hadn’t pressured me into it.”

I couldn’t believe it. “What do you mean ‘you all’?” I said. “Don’t put me in the ‘you all’ group. I was delighted to be doing what we were doing. I didn’t want to go. I only went to satisfy the rest of you. You’re the culprits.”

My wife looked shocked. “Don’t call me a culprit. You and Daddy and Mama were the ones who wanted to go. I just went along to be sociable and to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in heat like that.”

Her father entered the conversation abruptly. “Hell!” he said.  He proceeded to expand on what was already absolutely clear. “Listen, I never wanted to go to Abilene. I just thought you might be bored. You visit so seldom I wanted to be sure you enjoyed it. I would have preferred to playanother game of dominoes and eat the leftovers in the icebox.”

After the outburst of recrimination we all sat back in silence. Here we were, four reasonably sensible people who, of our own volition, had just taken a 106-mile trip across a godforsaken desert in a furnace-like temperature through a cloud-like dust storm to eat unpalatable food at a hole-in-the-wall cafeteria in Abilene, when none of us had really wanted to go.

In fact, to be more accurate, we’d done just the opposite of what we wanted to do. The whole situation simply didn’t make sense.

At least it didn’t make sense at the time.

 

 
JERRY B. HARVEY is professor of management science at the George Washington University in Washington, D.C. He is a graduate of the University of Texas in Austin, where he earned an undergraduate degree in business administration and a Ph.D. in social psychology.
A member of the International Consultant’s Foundation, a Diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology, and a member of the O.D. Network, he has served as a consultant to a wide variety of industrial, governmental, religious, and voluntary organizations. He has written a number of articles in the fields of organizational
behavior and education and currently is involved in the exploration of moral, ethical, and spiritual issues of work. In the pursuit of that interest, his book, The Abilene Paradox and Other Meditations on Management, was published by Lexington Books in 1988.

 

Does Culture eat Strategy for Breakfast?

It sometimes feels that no matter what you do in terms of strategy,  nothing really changes?

If so perhaps Peter Drucker’s question ‘ Does Culture eat Strategy for Breakfast?’  might give an insight  into what is getting in the way, to understand why it might feel that the organisation is facing in a different direction from the senior team.

Culture permeates through organisations creating the ‘feel’ of an organisation, affecting how things are done.  Often it is multilayered and different  cultures coexisting within one organisation.

If culture has such power what can you do to limit its impact?

There are thousands of different theories about organisational culture and the factors which will align your culture to your strategic objectives.  As fascinating as these theories are they often don’t offer the practical help to allow you to address your cultural issues.

We have found that four key factors that when addressed can make a significant difference:

Leadership approach

Every individual has personal preferences, this includes the leaders in your organisation.  When performing their leadership function they will favour those leadership activities and behaviours with which they feel most comfortable avoiding those which are on the edge or totally outside their comfort zone.

If the culture of your organisation is at odds with your strategic objectives, starting with your leadership team enables you to assess whether the leadership activities which will make the most difference are being performed.  Which these are  will vary dependent upon what you are trying to change and the make up of your leadership team.

Examining your leadership approach will give you a framework within which to develop your team.

Organisational behaviour

The accepted way of doing things effectively becomes your organisational behaviours. Changing behaviour is like breaking a habit.  Anyone who has given up smoking or some other addiction knows how difficult that can be.

Habits Triangle

Attitude is the biggest challenge to changing behaviour.

So how do you tackle attitude?

But consider how well your managers are equipped to manage behavioural performance?  Start by defining the behaviours that you want to see, with examples of positive and negative indicators, so there is a common understanding of these desired behaviours, then manage against them.

Do they have the right knowledge skills and attitude to be able to do this?

Organisational design
Organisational structures often evolve rather than be designed.

When they work effectively supporting the strategic objectives no one really notices.  When they don’t they can become a major obstacle.

Reviewing whether your structure is fit for purpose can make a significant difference.

Performance measures

Following on from the other factors, ensuring that
you are measuring the right things will enable you to encourage the right behaviours to deliver the results you need.

We all know from performance measures in schools and hospitals, if you measure the wrong things you will encourage behaviours which will undermine the bigger picture.

Identifying the right performance measures is the start, but you also need to equip your managers with the skills knowledge and attitudes to manage staff effectively.  Easy enough when the performance measures are being achieved not always so easy when they are not.

Athena professional can help you to ensure that rather than your culture eating strategy for breakfast it becomes the magic ingredient that makes your strategy a Michelin starred full english!.

 

 

 

 

Cup of Coffee?- A lesson in time management

On the first day of class, a university professor stood in front of his MBA class with an empty jug.

Without saying a word to his students, he started to fill the jug with golf balls.  When no more golf balls would fit, he passed the jug to the class and asked, “Would you say that the jug is full?”  His students looked at the jug and agreed that the jug was indeed full.
The professor then took the jug back and proceeded to place marbles into the jug.  The marbles started to fill the gaps between the golf balls.  After carefully ensuring that every gap between the golf balls was taken, he passed the jug to the class and asked once again if they thought the jug was full.  The class conferred and the general consensus was that the jug was full.

The professor took the jug back a third time and started to pour in fine sand.  Obviously the sand stated to fill the gaps between the golf balls and the marbles.  Once the sand had reached the top of the jug he asked the class a third time whether the jug was full.  This time his class chuckled and replied in unison, “took the jug back a third time and started to pour in fine sand.  Obviously the sand stated to fill the gaps between the golf balls and the marbles.  Once the sand had reached the top of the jug he asked the class a third time whether the jug was full.  This time his class chuckled and replied in unison, “Yes, it is now full!”

The professor took the jug back and emptied two small cups of coffee into the jug.  The liquid completely filled any remaining gap between the golf balls, the marbles and the grains of sand.  He then commenced his lecture.

He started with a question and asked the class what the filling the jug with golf balls, marbles, sand and coffee demonstrated.  One bright spark at the front of the class shouted out “It shows that no matter how full you think your schedule is you can always get a little bit more in.

The professor slowly shook his head, saying,

“I hope you realise that life is very much like this jug.  The golf balls represent the important things in life like beliefs, loved ones, family, health, things that you care intimately about.  If we lost everything else in life, our lives would still be ‘full’.  The marbles are the other things in our lives that are important, but our happiness doesn’t depend upon them.  Things like our work, our house, our car etc.  Finally, the sand represents everything else; the small stuff”.

“If we were to have filled our jug up with sand first, we would not have had enough room for the marbles or the golf balls.  If we use all our life and energy on the small stuff, we won’t have any room for the important things.”

After a brief moment of silence one of the students asked, “Professor, what does the coffee represent?”

“Ah, I’m glad you asked.” replied the professor. “It means that no matter how full your life is there is always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.”

Strategy, expectation and … action?

I keep hearing the same story from all sorts of different businesses; we’ve done the thinking, we’ve got a strategy that everyone agrees with… but nothing has changed!  Amongst those who are leading changes in business structure and profile there is bafflement:  Surely people can see the imperative?  Why do they keep doing the same things they have always done?

It reminds me of the old joke; how many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?  One, but the light bulb has got to want to change.

And there is the conundrum; getting people to change behaviour ought to be easy.  No one is being asked to get into astrophysics overnight.  It should not be that difficult.  But it is.  Moving beyond rhetoric and into action requires individuals to choose to do something differently.

I’m special

OccasionallOld professor with a green apple on top of his head.y I hear about an individual who is driving everyone mad by simply not towing
the line.  Perhaps they refuse to use a new management system or they never turn up to events.  This person believes themselves to be special or different from everyone else.  They are convinced that in some way their situation is exceptional, i.e. change should apply to everyone except them.

Dealing with this person is hard, because fundamentally it means trespassing on the individual’s sense of who they are.  If they are rigidly adhering to a particular practice or excluding themselves from something, then it is likely that the behaviour serves some underpinning value or belief which will need to be tackled if they are to stay in the business.  Not an easy prospect.

The long grass

However challenging the maverick individual is, at least they are visible and the way to manage the situation is fairly easily identified, even if it is unappealing.

Perhaps a more difficult challenge arises when the majority of people pay lip service to the importance of change.  Quite quickly a kind of organisational paralysis sets in.  Those championing change get frustrated; those resisting change may be unaware of the impact of their intransigence, because don’t see the connection between agreeing to a strategy and implementing it through the way they think and act on a daily basis.  Soon the idea of change begins to be a drag.

Creatures of habit

I habitually Habits Trianglemake tea using a teapot.  I am aware that there are other (inferior) ways of making tea, but left to my own devices I’ll do what I always do.  I know that the tea tastes better if brewed in a pot.  I know that reduces the temperature of the liquid.  I have learned that if I warm the pot and the cup I can keep my tea hot.  Doing those things is easy and I chose to do them.  I like making tea this way, because I like hot tea.  I have the knowledge, the skills and the attitude required to make a really good cup of hot tea.  I routinely adapt when I’m out and about.  I can drink tea made in the mug.  I change my expectations and behaviour to suit the occasion.

Ok, there’s not much at stake in my example.   It is true though, that we default to our behavioural preferences most of the time whatever the activity in question is.  Being able to flex our behaviour to adapt to new demands involves being aware of our default position and consciously choosing to shift our ground.  Being self-aware and aware of impact of one’s behaviour on others is a starting point for change.

Time & investment

Creating changes in behaviour takes time and investment.  It requires a planned approach.  People need the opportunity to make changes in their daily work, and they need their efforts rewarded when they do.  Individual and collective evidence of success is crucial.

Bringing strategy alive

Our best successes in bringing strategy alive have been with organisations which are willing to address knowledge, skills and attitudes.  That openness enables us to use online learning, class-room based experiential learning and coaching to ensure that people;

  1. Know what they need to know and
  2. Have a chance to try out new skills and
  3. Are challenged and supported as individuals to make changes

Usually when we are delivering these programmes I have to make my tea in the cup, but you can’t have everything.

Do values matter?

ValuesIt depends on how they are used.

Where they form the lifeblood of the organisation, defined in a way that people understand, values can underpin a culture  to enable an organisation to succeed.  However, if they are just words in your annual report……. you probably shouldn’t bother.

The phrase “Culture eats Strategy for Breakfast” explains why they can be so important.  Attributed to Peter Drucker, albeit made famous by Mark Fields, President at Ford, Drucker used this to describe  the reality of what can happen if a company disconnects their strategy from the culture of their organisation.

Business strategies often look at where an organisation wants to grow, or what business they should be in, but overlook who the organisation wants to be, what they are great at or even what they are at a unique advantage to do.  These latter questions focus on organisational culture.

Many organisations dismiss culture as a bit too “soft and fluffy” to include when considering their strategy, or provide lip service to cultural considerations.  But cultivating the right organisational culture can be a key differentiator.  Managing culture is not easy, as it grows and evolves over time taking on a life of its own.  But there are some key steps to help you harness the beast!

A key tool that can help you cultivate the right culture for your organisations is organisational values.  Ideally with underpinning competencies and behaviours.  These values need to be communicated effectively around your organisation so that your people know what they mean, why they matter and how they need to behave to demonstrate these values.

Values are often created as aspirations the organisation want to live up to, but they bear no relation to what it is really like to work there.  Aspirational values are not bad in themselves, but there needs to be a clear strategy to ensure that behaviours and competencies supporting aspirational values are instilled in the organisation.

Ensuring that your people demonstrate the behaviours that support your values, and thereby a desired organisational culture, is not always easy.

One example we use of how this can go awry is one of a high flying lawyer sacked for making derogatory comments on camera about Liverpool football fans that were inconsistent with the company ethos and values.  This exemplifies how a senior figure in the organisation who does not demonstrate the behaviours underpinning values and culture can significantly impact an organisation’s reputation and its ability to achieve its strategic goals.

In order for values to make a difference to your organisational culture you need to ensure they are:

  • Real – reflecting what it is like to work in your organisation not only how you want it to be
  • Understood – defined in a way that your people can relate to and are able to demonstrate
  • Present – in the fabric of all your organisation does, role modelled at all levels within the organisation

Emotional Intelligence using Lumina

Choosing your emotional response

Having just completed a 3 day workshop at Lumina Learning understanding how Lumina Emotion, their new emotional intelligence tool, works, it got me thinking about how as individuals we can develop our emotional intelligence.

Stewart Desson at Lumina Learning has identified, through his research, that there is a strong link and overlap between personality qualities and the factors traditionally measured to determine emotional intelligence.  Common wisdom has been that personality is reasonably static, but that emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learnt.

I have always been sligEmotion mandala sparks overallhtly sceptical of this approach.

I accept that your underlying personality, once fully developed, tends to be relatively consistent.  However, through my coaching, I have seen some big shifts in the capability of individuals to adapt both their everyday behaviour and how these qualities overextend when they are under pressure or stress.

My big take away from last week is that Emotional Qualities (Sparks) and Reactors are simply an extension to our personality.  Lumina have defined these qualities and reactors in our underlying, everyday and overextended personas.  The research seems to indicate it is how we choose to react to stimulus that makes the key difference between emotional intelligence or lack of it.

Victor Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning) said:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space.  In that space is our power to choose our response.  In our response lies our growth and our freedom”

Many people feel that they are hard wired one way or another, i.e. when they receive the stimulus the only option they have is to respond in the way they are pre-programmed to reEmotion mandala reactors overall with no middle - Copyspond.

I am not saying that it is easy to use that space and make a choice.  The easiest option is simply to react.

However, as human beings we do have a choice in how we react to a situation.  It is whether we are self-aware enough to recognise the space exists and to use it.  Knowing our likely default behaviour by understanding the personality qualities we prefer, enables us to consider whether the reaction this encourages is appropriate for the situation or not.

The skill comes from the ability to tune these reactions up and down to suit the presenting situation.  Lumina Emotion gives me a language to explore this with people to help move from intellectual acceptance of emotional intelligence as a concept, into action (ie doing something about managing emotional reactors) to truly develop emotional intelligence.

 

The Art of Appraisal

It doesn’t matter what you call it; Personal Development Plan, Feedback, PDR, 1-2-1, Appraisal, it is normally viewed as a necessary evil, something that just has to be done.  Many line managers complete appraisals to comply with an HR edict or an external compliance requirement and as a result the appraisal becomes a tick box exercise with which neither party fully engages.

What is the purpose of an appraisal? (or whatever your organisation calls it)

High performing, successful organisations approach performance management (of which appraisals are an integral part) by:

  • Aligning organisational to personal objectives
  • Supporting their people to achieve high performance by recognising and rewarding high performance and structuring work in a way that allows high performance to take place, and
  • Measuring performance, encouraging a culture where feedback is the norm, leading to continuous improvement.

A good appraisal process enables this, by:

Buscar
Looking back over the previous period and measure performance against objectives, giving feedback to learn from mistakes and encouragement for positive behaviours and activity

Looking forwards to the next Robot con lupaperiod, identifying personal objectives and how these contribute to the organisational performance indicators and clarifying success criteria, and

robot buscandoLooking at development opportunities for the individual and aligning these to future people requirements of the organisation.

 

 

Where did it all go wrong?

Appraisal processes have become increasingly complex.  This has been driven by an attempt by well-meaning, risk averse HR functions to corral unruly line managers into a standardised way of conducting and capturing performance management.

However, it has succeeded in disengaging line managers from what should simply be a series of purposeful conversations that taking place over the course of the year.

I accept there needs to be some documentation of the process, for compliance purposes or for the organisation to draw out learning needs etc., but this should be minimal.

The most important aspect is the dialogue between manager and their direct report.  Anything that gets in the way of this dialogue is counter productive.

Should appraisals be linked to competencies?

I hesitate to use the word competencies here as it often results raising blood pressure amongst managers who have used complex  competency based appraisal systems.

Competencies are the skills defined for a person to do their job effectively or to demonstrate the organisational values.  These competencies are assessed by pre-defined observable behaviours for each competency.

A competency framework is often a reasonably lengthy document.  Some appraisals expect managers to assess every competency every time.

It is hardly surprising therefore that this approach leads many managers to a fight, flight or freeze response.  They will fight the HR department and refuse to complete the documentation; bury their head in the sand and hope HR will get fed up of chasing them; or become a rabbit in the headlights trying their best to cover everything but not really doing a good job.

I believe that when competencies are linked to appraisals, it can improve the quality of the dialogue.  Not all competencies need to be slavishly assessed every time.  Using the competencies and the behaviours which underpin them allow the conversation to go beyond what has been or needs to be done.  Talking about behaviours allows a discussion about the how rather than just the what enabling behaviour to be discussed and, if necessary, changed.  This type of discussion will then lead naturally into individual development.

How often should you appraise performance?

It depends.

For some it will be a regular weekly conversation, others it will be monthly or quarterly, but it should not be just a once a year occurrence.  There is likely to be a point in the year when you formally review all the conversations that have taken place and agree personal objectives linked to organisational key performance indicators, but the appraisal process should be an ongoing dialogue throughout the year.

How much documentation your organisation needs for these conversations will vary, but I believe that a formal record should be made at least twice a year.

So how can we make the most from our appraisals?

There are 5 simple steps to making the most from your appraisals

  1. Define some clear competencies relevant to your organisation – There are many examples available online to adapt for your organisation
  2. Incorporate these competencies into your appraisal process. Using a self and/or manager assessment of a selection of competencies can be a really easy way to open up the dialogue around competencies
  3. Simplify your documentation making it simple and easy for managers to complete, no long forms which need to be completed in triplicate
  4. Develop your managers to have purposeful conversations, giving feedback both positive and negative in a way that helps their team to understand what they need to stop, start or continue doing
  5. Trust your managers to do the right thing and have purposeful conversations at the right intervals about the right things for each individual.

If you would like some help to develop managers or some help to create competencies and incorporate these into your appraisal process please contact us on info@athenaprofessional.co.uk.

3 simple steps for managing difficult conversations

What do we mean by difficult conversations?

This includes a whole host of conversations.  Some of the more tricky ones include redundancy, change, personal issues or concerns, poor performance, inappropriate behaviour or absence management. Often these revolve around issues relating to behaviour or attitude.

Why are these conversations difficult?

Each one has its unique reasons, but there are often common reasons why we find all of these difficult.  These common reasons include:

  • Human nature – I always try to avoid conflict
  • Embarrassment – I don’t like awkward situations
  • It might all go wrong – I could end up with a grievance or worse
  • It might become emotional – I can’t deal with tears
  • It will take too long – Isn’t it someone else’s job anyway?

Our 3 step guide will help you to increase the chance of the conversation resulting in an outcome that results in a change in behaviour or attitude

STEP 1 – Understand yourself

Knowing how you tend to react when in an uncomfortable position is a great starting point.  The more you are aware of your reactions and the impact of those reactions on others, the more able you become to adapt your behaviour in the moment.

Psychometric tools can be very helpful to give you an insight into your preferred behaviours both in everyday situations and under stress.  If you have not completed one of these recently we would recommend downloading the FREE Lumina Splash App and completing a quick speed read to give you an insight into your preferences.

Alternatively ask some trusted colleagues for feedback on your impact, particularly when you are under pressure, stressed or uncomfortable.

With this increased self awareness you can begin to make choices around how you behave and how you approach the conversation.

STEP 2 – Prepare

A ‘coaching-style’ conversation is very helpful:

  • ask open questions to build rapport
  • listen intently
  • respond to questions
  • para-phrasing, and
  • adapting your approach to the situation.

This will ensure that a level of trust is developed which is more likely to lead to mutual objectives being defined and commitment to take whatever action is agreed upon.

Following a structure[i] can also help:

  • Set up the meeting appropriately to minimise interruptions or distractions
  • Be clear about the purpose of the conversation, stating the issues and giving evidence explaining the impact on the individual, team or business
  • Instil a level of trust with the other participant by asking questions to understand how the other views the situation, avoiding accusations or being overly polite
  • Ensure there is a two way conversation by using open questions then listening to responses with an open mind, not jumping to conclusions
  • Gain commitment to actions to deal with the issue
  • Document the conversation

STEP 3 – Manage yourself

Considering your approach and having a structure can help enormously, however, how you manage yourself, in the moment, can make or break the success of the conversation.

Begin with the end in mind.

Be clear about the outcome you want from the conversation.  Consider this outcome by stepping into the other persons shoes.  This will enable you to frame the conversation using their map of the world.  Identify what is in it for them to agree to the change.

By being clear on the outcome you want from the conversation you are more able to control your reactions to events as they arise.

Conclusion

Following our 3 step approach will set you up for a productive conversation.

Practise out loud what you want to say and how you want to say it.  You will not use the exact words in the actual conversation, but speaking out loud allows you to filter your thoughts honing down the key messages you want to convey.

Don’t delay unnecessarily.  The longer you leave these conversations the more difficult they become.  Act promptly to nip issues in the bud.

Finally, always, always, always ensure you document the conversation.

[i] ACAS guide on challenging conversations and how to manage them